Sitting down and typing the number 2023 sends a flutter of anxiety rushing through me.
How can three years have passed since I first chose to go part-time at work? Three years since those vivid last weeks before the pandemic began, three years since I went to work every day in an office in another town.
It doesn’t feel like three years. Hell, it’s two years since I last wrote a blog post focusing on my annual goals, and since then I’ve written just five blog posts here. I never intended to stop.
But time is passing by, a little too quickly. I recently turned 38 and the prospect of being 40 is looming large. And I have to admit, I’m a bit scared of it. I have been for a while. I think I’m nervous about getting older because I’m not where I would like to be in life. I was 34 when I published my first novel and chances are I won’t publish another in my thirties. But I have two years to make some changes, and it feels like the perfect time to be intentional about my goals.
This year, I’ve actually done a lot of work thinking about life and mindset and barriers, but there’s a lot more to do. I know I need to make some changes to get the most out of life.
So, in 2023, I want to focus on reconnecting. Reconnecting with myself, with my dreams and goals. I’ve spent the last couple of years working harder than ever, but at times that work has been a bit random and driven by the fear of missing out, or not earning enough, or failing in some invisible commitment. And if I’m honest, I think some of my choices have been a way of subconsciously sabotaging my writing and not allowing myself to take up space, so that’s something I need to work on.
I’m not going to state all of my goals out loud, because there are a couple I can only take so far and then they rely on other people but the ones I can achieve on my own are:
To focus on how things feel
I’ve come to realise that a lot of my time is spent doing things I don’t really want to do and I’d like that to change. I need to take a step back and think a little more about how I spend my time, particularly with work, and be more selective about the projects I apply for. If it isn’t going to feel good, or enhance my goals in some way, I can – deep breath – choose not to do it. After all, I am a grown up.
To rest more
I’ve never been the type of person who has to be on the go all the time, but over the last few years, as my work boundaries have blurred, I’m finding it harder to stop. Having a job where you’re always communicating, planning and creating content does draw constantly on that creative well and it needs to be replenished. I’m guilty of too often spending my down time scrolling social media, with a repeat of something on the telly in the background, numbing myself rather than restoring my energy. It’s a bad habit and one I’m trying to break.
To write another book
It may be over ambitious, but I want to finish writing another novel this year. I’ve always been a slow writer, mostly due to other commitments, but if I actually want a writing career, I’m going to have to push through and write more quickly. I’ve got a story in mind, but getting started is the next big step.
I want to make some changes in 2023, and that starts with me. So, I’m writing this as a promise to myself that I’m going to be intentional and give myself the grace to begin building the life I really want.
Happy new year!
Jan Wolfe says
Your goals are sound and doable – I am still working on mine for the coming year, but they are forming. Perhaps resurrecting my own blogs should be one of them. Don’t fear 40 – it’s 50 that got me – age is but a number and it doesn’t change how you feel other than realising time is flashing by. I look forward to reading more from you. That’s another goal – to actually read the blogs I have signed up for as a way of reconnecting with others. Happy 2023 – may it bring good things.